Lifeless

I cant believe how the two of you could have done that to me

but you especially for so long it went on and i was such  dumb fool

i really cant get over it and you have no idea how much it hurts

you think that a simple sorry and chocolates will help?

i wish it could

i wish the chocolates would help numb the pain

i wish your apologies would make everything right

but i cant let it go. i cant just let you walk away from it.

and you wont let me walk away.

i hate you so much for this and i want to forget

i want to forget everything but i cant

and this is all your fault

i have never been so vulgar in my life

and i have never raged at someone as i did to you

i have no hope or trust in you

and whatever you have to say i am not interested to hear

because you have no idea what you have done to me

i dont think you can handle whats about to happen 

because you have apparently disappeared

i wish i could disappear

i want to be lifeless

i want to look in the mirror and like myself

i want to be a cold lifeless doll

I can deal with this death of his but i dont know how i am going to get through

i dont know if anyone cares anymore

-delete his blog

-delete all my emails to him

-delete al his emails to me in all accounts

-burn the jersey

-delete the folder

-delete that future

and i will mourn and grieve but each day that love you are relying on

will be going further from you than you know

and i will walk away