Random Shmandom

yoooohoooooo... hahahah didnt have anything to do today and puffster told me she'd be at
the hosp getting her blood tests and all and at the same time nat had to give her
uniform back so i thought to atleast go see puffster and wait for nat
but puff finished before i could leave the house and i feel so horrible..
her results arent good.. and she sent me such a heartbreaking message...


to dearest puff... i dont know if you still read but im truly sorry...
i know i wasnt there when you wanted me to be there but i am really trying..
you came back for me but then everything changed and now you have this going on
i guess you arent gonna see this but i shall type it out coz ive been thinking about it
dont give up so fast.. there is still time.. you drown yourself every night
and i dare not say anything coz i dont know how else you would cope..


you are fulfilling all your promises and i do see it. we do see it.
you know we are here and i know you are even trying to change things.

but please dont give up so fast yet.if things arent crazy enough for me at home i just had to watch a moviethat made me think way too much....

MY RAINY DAYS

nat and i randomly decided to watch a movie after i told her i have been wanting
to watch my rainy days when we were in the lift..
and it was a damn nice movie.. ok sappy yes but damn nice..
i mean she reminds me so much of me.. ok not the prostitution part!!!
but its like i started remembering sec sch life
and all the friendships and craziness!!

Naoko reminded me of ros... you were like my sister..
go to sch together, break, rtc, after sch and then either of our houses
and then on the phone till late at night...
i forgot what we'd talk about but how did it end up like that
you turned on me in an instant..
i wont forget.. you told me this
To finish what i started... these words screwed up my life!

you continued everything i tried to stop and i paid heavily for it!!
and then you go and do all those stupid things after that...
the hate i have for you now i dont know how to describe...
but im pretty sure you know...
one day my dear... one day...

this reminds me its time to go out with ade and darling lishi...
ok writing this down...
hahaha i started writing out things i wanna do.. but i need to get a proper book
coz im using random papers and then throwing it awayy.. hahahahaha

and the things Rio did just reminded me of me.. i used to do silly things like that
and be all persistent and behave like that.. hahahahas.

i suddenly drifted off into thinking of doing the scrapbook i always dreamed off
and then i got stuck on one thing... in my head i said the words out.
and i didnt realize it already happened but it has...

it happened when you looked into my eyes at that spot above everyone..
it happened in your arms when i was smiling away..